This is the year I want to do whatever it takes to make my life into the best possible thing. I intend to follow God's leading, of course, but I expect that that will take the form of sudden possibilities, tragedies, etc. What I'm hoping to deal with are the mundane day-to-day, minute-to-minute decisions that seem to rule my life more rigidly than anything else - the decision not to return a cal right away, to pop a piece of candy in my mouth without thinking, to leave a piece of paper lying at the end of the counter, to purchase another thrift shop "find", to place that one-click order on Amazon that is sure to "change my life" when I read the book...
I want to practice self-discipline - something that takes on much greater meaning when it is framed as "sacrifice" and offered up for the benefit of others. Sacrifice my lunchtime dessert and help a friend get through a pregnancy; sacrifice by going to bed on time and help to bring about world peace. Sound bizarre! Believe it or not, it works and gives much greater meaning to the mundane.
I am an intelligent, creative, compassionate person. But my excess of all these qualities has made my life miserable and my home and finances fall into a shambles (great word). I managed to stabe myself with my own sword pre-internet but the internet has made the whole process so easy that the more access I seem to receive to it, the worse my life seems to become. But unwilling to cut myself off of it completely, I want to find a way through prayer and discipline to control my internet use, my wide-ranging interestes, my passion for learning and my abhorrence of anything that smacks of real mindless work.
There are a number of programs and gurus that I find appealing in tackling this mess called my life and I plan on using any and all in the course of this quest. I will always allow you, the reader, to know what I am quoting from when I talk about what I'm pursuing.
Until my next entry...
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